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Tarzan & Jane are swinging through the trees one day, with Tarzan repeatedly making his jungle call.Suddenly he lets out an almighty ear-splitting shriek.He turns to Jane and says "Jane, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times ... GRAB! THE! VINE!!!"-- and two that go togetherQ: Why do elephants paint their balls red?A: So they can hide in apple trees.Q: How did Tarzan die?A: Picking apples.Building PermitSome have asked what I've been doing in retirement. Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house.It was going to be 100 ft. tall and 400 ft. wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was going to paint it snot green with pink trim.The City Council told me; "Forget it ... AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!"So, I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a "Mosque."Work starts on Monday. And here is the best part, it's going to be tax. "Are you mad at me, Mom?"Margery fixed her skirt and, with a half-smile, said, "No... I'm mad at me for letting you do that, again." Then said, as her son fixed his pants, "So, this party tonight. Is it still on?" Yeah. Why?" Well, Terri changed her mind and is willing to go." No shit! Really? You're both going to come?" Yes, we are. And I want you to be on your best behavior, you hear me?" I will, Mom. You can trust me." Aha," Margery replied with a half-smile. "So, where is this beach party?"Jacob gave his mother the low down on the location, and then went to change, himself.Terri stood in front of her bedroom mirror, gazing at her options in clothing. Even though her friend expressed how she should doll up tonight, she just couldn't and went with a more conservative look. She chose to wear a buttoned, light, short-sleeved red and black flannel shirt, along with a pair of tight-fitting blue jeans, the kind that had readymade holes in the front thigh area.Okay, I think this should.
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Grace wanted to speak with my protector again. Pleasant dreams, baby."I handed the phone to James. "And goodnight to you," I said to him. "I'm going to sack out." I left him to talk privately with my sister.I crashed. My body was on the same time clock as Grace and Mary's, so I wasn't happy when I woke up two hours later at what would normally be dawn in Hawaii. It was still dark outside, and James heard me bumping around."Here, take one of these pills," he said."What is it?" Melatonin. It's the principal hormone produced by the pineal gland. It will speed your adjustment to the circadian rhythm of this time zone. I've tried a lot of jet-lag remedies. Melatonin helps me the most. Also, you'll recover quicker if you can sleep until daylight here. Drinking a lot of water helps, too."I took the pill with a large glass of water and went back to bed. I didn't go back to sleep. Instead, I stared at the dark ceiling and let my mind wander. I visualized the takedown that would happen two.

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